Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize