I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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