I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
