I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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