I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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