If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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