So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
