left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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