I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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