I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize