just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
