Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
