people are starting to question the shark bite story
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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