I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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