Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
