She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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