youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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