you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
