dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
