$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
