She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were trust falling into bushes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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