is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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