I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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