My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
