last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
