Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
