The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
