He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
