just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
