do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's Friday. Sex?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize