He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
