So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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