nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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