wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
