There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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