Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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