i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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