I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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