dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
