i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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