hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
