Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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