i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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