you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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