Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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