He uses pillows to masturbate.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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