I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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