no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
