I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
