my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
