one might say we're banned from that church
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
