apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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