Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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