I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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